Recommending Myself to God

David Brainard recounts:

When I had been fasting, praying, obeying, I thought I was aiming at the glory of God, but I was doing it all for my own glory – to feel I was worthy. As long as I was doing all this to earn my salvation, I was doing nothing for God, all for me! I realized that all my struggling to become worthy was an exercise in self-worship. I was actually trying to avoid God as savior, and to be my own savior…. I was not worshipping him, but using him…. Though I often confessed to God that I, of course, deserved nothing, yet still I harbored a secret hope of recommending myself to God by all these duties and all this morality.

Quoted in Elyse Fitzpatrick, Because He Loves Me: How Christ Transforms Our Daily Life (Wheaton: Crossway, 2008), 217.

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